Religion. Christianity?

Everybody talks about it, everybody has heard of it, everybody has their own opinions about it, their own views. It's kind of a crazy phenomenon. It's a wonderful thing, but somehow we manage to make it bad, evil, so easily. This is going to be a difficult post to tie together, because there are so many different aspects, so many different ways to look at religion, so many different things out there to be discussed, I couldn't possibly get across every one of my beliefs in this one post. But I'm sure as heck gonna try.

At its core, I love everything about the majority of religions. Love thy neighbor. Don't kill. Give to the poor. Don't let yourself be roped into believing your worth is in your possessions. It's wonderful, and the majority of them provide an excellent moral code.

I feel that the flaw with so many religions comes in the fact that it becomes so much about the religion. The physicality of it all. The way you worship. I don't think that is what religion is about. The flaws are in the ways people use their religion as an excuse to discriminate, or hate, do harm, or take part in impure actions.

As far as my religion, I dont know. I can't answer whether I even believe in a 'god': In my humble opinion, god is not a man in the sky, who judges people when they die, and sends them to heaven or hell. He is the manifestation, of the abstract idea of love, compassion, caring, reasoning, thinking, that our brains are capable of. Our conscience, our consciousness, our subconscious. Essentially, I believe that 'God'/gods are an abstract idea made physical, and therefore simplified and made easier to understand. If that makes sense.

I think that a lot of the things in Christianity are just abstract things that everybody experiences and goes through, made physical. The devil? Obviously, the constant struggle people go through with that animal part of their brain. The one that worries about only itself. Deamons? Negative thoughts, feelings, and experiences people deal with. Jealousy. Confusion. Hopelessness. Angels? Those things that keep you hanging on. The things that give you hope. Seeing somebody help a little old lady across the road. Seeing an old couple holding hands or sitting together on a bench. Sunsets.

Heaven and Hell? Picture this. You are dying. You look back on your life, just before you pass away. It was a good life, you're happy with it. Your last thought is a good one. Your last thought. I can't say I know for sure, but I think it would feel eternal. It would be the last thing you thought of. The last thing that went through your mind. It wouldn't end, because nothing else would begin... You know? I don't know how to explain it. So I hope that makes sense. Now picture yourself looking back at a miserable life. Riddled with regret. Why did you walk out on your highschool girlfriend after getting her pregnant? What does your child look like? You never even saw him. Your last words to your mother were "Go fuck yourself," more than 6 years ago now. You're last thoughts, last emotions, would be misery, sadness, remorse. The last thing you experience. Hell.

I mean, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe theres a man who plans out every little twist of our lives before we're born. Maybe the constant contradictions in Christianity is part of the magic. Maybe there's a scary red man with a pitchfork and a tail waiting to torture you for being bad in the center of the earth. I personally think it sort of sounds like a fairy tale, but if it's going to lead you to be a good, content, happy person, then, no matter how silly it sounds to me, I think that there is nothing better than believing in everything Christianity or Judaism (and/or Islam? I dunno.) has to offer. The thing that's scary and sad for me is the idea that there are people that are scared into it. Scared into submiting to a belief, essentially, that very well might not be right for them. "Accept Jesus as your savior so you don't go to Hell!" Y'know? But to each their own. I guess theres nothing I can do about it. Haha.

Christianity isn't the only religion, I know. But it's the general religion of the community I was raised in, so I've had ample opportunities to learn about it, and time to form opinions on it, decide on my beliefs.

I've actually done a lot of reading on Buddhism too, I really like the sound of it, though, as with probably just about every religion, there are certainly some aspects that I don't entirely buy into or agree with.

So am I religious? Well, I don't know how to answer that one. It depends entirely upon how you define religion. Faith? I have plenty of that. Faith in love, faith in goodness, faith that there is always hope. There is always reason for hope. No matter how miserable and dismal and impossible somethign might seem, and it seems like there is nothing to believe in, there is always hope. No matter how painful it might be, no matter how hard it is to always hope for the best, and know things will get better... It is the only way. I understand that. Can this be defined as religion? Maybe, maybe not. But that's my religion. My religion is hope, my religion is faith, my religion is knowing wretched, hopeless things can always be beautiful. Just look through different eyes. Look with love. Look with hope.